What an amazing weekend we have before us! Thing 2 is graduating from high school and turning 18 the next day. When she turned 6, we went to her favorite Mexican restaurant in town, and we have been back many times since.
When I wrote about her on that birthday I described her as a hard-headed fashionista, a tender-hearted caretaker, way too clever for her own good and knew just enough curse words to laugh when she heard me say one but had the good sense to not unleash many of her own (my how that changed). I also noted that Hot Mama feared that Thing 2 would be our hard-partying teenage rebel since she was the most social of social butterflies and at home we saw a disrespect for authority, despite her teachers having glowing reports of her exemplary behavior.
I could never have imagined the course our lives would lead from then until today. She is still a tender-hearted, clever social butterfly. She still has streaks of rebellion but really she is one of the best daughters a parent could hope for. She is an amazing young woman who followed in her big sister’s footsteps to be a source of positive change in her school and the people around her. She has been active in student leadership and projects that fostered an appreciation for helping others. She has so many friends that spend so much time in our home that it feels as if they are part of the family.
When I was on a trip with Hot Mama recently, we were in a piano bar and the performer was playing a Chappell Roan song (Pink Pony Club). The couples we were with were amused that Hot Mama and I knew all of the lyrics and were singing along. I think Chappell Roan is talented but I think I like her music because it makes me think of Thing 1 and how much she loves her music. One artist that Thing 2 introduced me to a few years ago is Noah Kahan. I downloaded his Stick Season album and listened to it in its entirety during a flight. And I continue to listen to it regularly, both because I enjoy the music and because it reminds me of the first time Thing 2 discovered him and how much she loved his work. Hot Mama drove her and one of those quasi-adopted friends to see him in concert six hours away.
One of his songs, Growing Sideways, makes me pause and reflect on Thing 2’s life and remind myself the struggles she courageously goes through every day. The chorus is:
But I ignore things, and I move sideways
Until I forget what I felt in the first place
At the end of the day I know there are worse ways
To stay alive
‘Cause everyone’s growing and everyone’s healthy
I’m terrified that I might never have met me
Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty
I guess I’ll drive
Several years ago, Thing 2 was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. To say our whole life changed would be an understatement. And to have a middle school girl already dealing with middle school girl issues have to add this to her burdens was quite a load. She had to learn a whole new way of life, and we had to discover a whole new level of worry for her well-being.
I wish we would have known back then how well she would make it through life to this point. As time went on, we became more accustomed to rolling with her condition. A couple years ago we had to do some research before we took an extended flight to Hawaii. We bought a USB powered cooler for her insulin. We had to cut our visit to Haleakalā just a little short to head back to the hotel because she forgot to bring enough insulin. And we made everyone wait to eat their lunch we got on the way back because her blood sugar was already too high and she couldn’t eat. But for the most part it wasn’t an issue. Hot Mama had to call our local pharmacy from a beach in Cancun two years ago to address a prescription refill emergency but she got it sorted out. Last summer we went on a cruise and I don’t recall any issues with her health. That’s not to say that nothing went wrong, but we made it through it all enough for me to not have a lasting memory of a problem.
Thing 2 has matured greatly and I cannot be more proud of how far she has come, but the reality is she has a life-threatening condition that requires constant vigilance. As exhausting as it is for us as parents, it seems cruel to think how much of her thoughts are consumed with her well-being. But sometimes she ignores things, and she moves sideways until she forgets what she felt in the first place. Because sometimes its easier to not look at her continuous glucose monitor and insulin pump before she eats a fast-food meal that most other teenage girls could eat without concern. At the end of the day, I know there are worse ways to stay alive. And how unfair it must seem when everyone’s growing and everyone’s healthy. Too often she drives on empty. But she perseveres. And she inspires. And she has spent plenty at Lulu so she’s suffering in style.
Thing 2 didn’t turn out to be the hard-partying teenage rebel. She loves spending time with her friends but, in part due to her condition (and the fact she is underage), she is the sober driver. She has stayed out plenty of late nights, and I have stayed up for most of them, but after dealing with her T1D somehow the simple things like getting home from a night out with friends don’t worry me so much.
Now she is about to embark on a whole new adventure. And we won’t always be right there with her. And a couple of years ago I would have said the thought of that scared the shit out of me. But she has come so far that, while we will worry, we know she can handle it. She is going off to college soon and starting a new life. Thankfully Thing 1 will be there to be a source of support as she figures out life away from home. We can’t wait to see the path she takes and continue to be there for her along the way.
Thing 2, I hope you take care of yourself and have more good days than bad days. I hope you know how much we love you and that we would do anything for you, even if you have to Dial Drunk. It’s nice to know when I call, She Calls Me Back. You may get Home Sick. If you do, Come Over. Call Your Mom. You get All My Love. You’re Gonna Go Far.
