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For Valentine’s Day I did not get Hot Mama flowers or a card, she was totally fine with it since we had discussed it before hand. I did, however, get her a membership with Weight Watchers Online. Actually, I am the member, but it was with her in mind that I signed up (again). I like spending time with her and would like for that to continue for a long time.
I went to the doctor last week because I had been having some strange sensations in my chest/abdomen and head. The head part is what really scared me. So I went and got checked out and ended up having a coronary calcium test performed. I received the results today and passed with no signs of coronary calcium. This means the exercise program that I have been putting off for fear of it literally killing me can commence.
I have always been big. I have noticed that when I look at myself in the mirror, I see that I am big but not necessarily as big as I really am. But when I see myself in a picture, I definitely notice my girth. I have heard of body dysmorphic disorder in which the affected person is overly concerned about a perceived defect in his physical features which doesn’t exist. I seem to have the opposite and wondered if anyone else out there was similarly afflicted.
I came across this article about fatorexia, which is the name Sara Bird has given to the phenomenon. I then read this L.A. Times article which discusses a study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine on body size misperception. In a way I was glad to know that I did not dream up this condition.
But the feelings that I have had about my health recently have prompted me to take a more serious look at my health. I have already made a great deal of progress over the past year or two as far as cutting out soda, chips, candy and many of the other typically unhealthy foods. But I have still been indulging in cheeseburgers and pizza from time to time. I was living the quote “moderation in all things, including moderation.”
Now that I am more aware of my condition, and am more confident that I can exert myself without harm, I am better positioned to make more improvement in my health. I still want to be fat, for now. I am still taking pictures of everything that I eat for my photo food journal (over 1,400 pictures strong). And, a year later, I maintain my outlook on food.
Having your mom send you an email, after she learned of your health scare, telling you she was glad you were visiting the doctor and hoped you took care of yourself so that you live a long and happy life is not a happy time, even though I greatly appreciated the sentiment.
I have an amazing wife and three wonderful kids. All in all I have a really great life, I just need to keep working on improving myself so I get to enjoy more of it.
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